#HappyThanksgiving

So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

And it was a happy one, even though it was my first Thanksgiving as a diabetic. Do you remember yours? Amazing how this disease is quite relentless - there are no breaks, even on holidays or vacations. It's. Still. There.

But I really tried to manage things a bit more this year - space out my eating - and definitely limiting my portions, although if I'm honest, I didn't limit today as much as I usually do. Eating a second helping of anything - let alone stuffing (OMG my favorite) (HELLO CARBS) - is something I've trained myself NOT to do. Except today, I did it. It felt weird.

I guess it's good that it felt weird, right? It's good that I'm now self-monitoring to a point where any excess feels weird. I might be over-indulging, but at least I'm aware of it. And in some weird way, I actually feel LESS guilty about it now than I used to pre-diabetes - what's THAT about?

I guess part of it is that now, a lot of the voices I've carried around with me are silenced, and so is that condemnatory guilt they used to shout at me. The guilt I feel now is more related to my actual health and well-being, rather than some sense of disappointing someone else. And so the guilt I feel now is less controlling in some way - less pushy - less noisy, for sure - less bitchy.

For many years of our marriage, Hubby and I have hosted Thanksgiving at our house. This year, we traveled to see family, so there was hardly any work for me to do today. I did a lot of sitting around and relaxing. I took two different mini-naps on the couch. We had a good, solid (not-too-carby) breakfast, a very light lunch, and ate our Thanksgiving meal mid-afternoon. 

After our meal, we had the obligatory round of "Who's ready for dessert?" and when I said I would need to wait (like, literally, NEED), the suggestion was made to take a walk. HOORAY! I found my spirits lifting at the thought of the fresh air, the exercise, and the scenery of this neat walking path near their house - I've heard all about it and have never tried it out.

A creek runs next to it and it was rushing today - water pouring over and around the rocks, adding a delightful and constant sound to our movement. One of my favorite sounds, making a beautiful Fall day even more gorgeous. 

Max came with us. And I was so happy that our little 14 year-old schnauzer walked 1.65 miles and barely missed a beat (or a tree to pee on). Often, he led the way, trotting along, greeting others who were also out in the beautiful weather.

And as we walked, I felt the few guilty qualms getting further and further away, left behind at the dinner table while we got a bit of exercise. When we returned home, I enjoyed our dessert all the more because it truly felt like a treat.

Confession: I had a leftover turkey sandwich this evening and I had a bit more dessert. But it's all OK because I'm still feeling good about the choices I made today. I've reached one of my favorite food holidays for the first time as a diabetic, and I've made it through.

Gobble, gobble!