Claiming the Middle Ground

The Middle Ground

So, a while back, I posted after I had started another medication and my blood sugar went plummeting. It's been weird - again with the damn numbers game! - for the first bit after I started that med, my evening numbers were great and my morning numbers were running high...not crazy high, but a bit high.

I persevered.

I guess my body has gotten used to things (again) because for about the past week, my numbers - both morning and night - have been great. Spot on. Right in range.

Part of me is like, "What the hell?"

Part of me is like, "Huh. OK. How great...I guess...?"

Part of me is like, "WOO HOO!"

I don't feel like I've changed that much and yet the numbers are very different. I feel much better, too - actually, the best I've felt since my diagnosis. So, that part, I'll take.

However, upon further reflection, I guess I have changed...

I've been on vacation for a few days. I was really, really, really afraid I would lose all self control and go on some kind of binge. But the cool thing is that the habits I have now are becoming more and more a part of me, and so I have more self control than I ever have before. The Great Blood Sugar Question is - for me, anyway - great motivation for NOT going on a binge. I just don't want to put myself through it, sugar-wise.

I went to a retirement party today, and there was the usual spread of sugar, sugar, more sugar on the tables (and some veggies and cheese). I would've loved a cookie, and oh, look, cake! And another cookie, and a brownie, and some lemonade. I avoided it all - just walked right past. Didn't taste one damn thing at that party, and really, it was fine.

It was fine because I've reached the Middle Ground - I've claimed the Middle Ground - the place between no control and too much control. I've come to the conclusion that, overall, the Middle Ground is better than cookies and cake and brownies. And I've claimed the Middle Ground of wanting to care for myself in this New Normal, of my numbers being in a good place, and of feeling the best I've felt in a while.