#HappyThanksgiving

So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

And it was a happy one, even though it was my first Thanksgiving as a diabetic. Do you remember yours? Amazing how this disease is quite relentless - there are no breaks, even on holidays or vacations. It's. Still. There.

But I really tried to manage things a bit more this year - space out my eating - and definitely limiting my portions, although if I'm honest, I didn't limit today as much as I usually do. Eating a second helping of anything - let alone stuffing (OMG my favorite) (HELLO CARBS) - is something I've trained myself NOT to do. Except today, I did it. It felt weird.

I guess it's good that it felt weird, right? It's good that I'm now self-monitoring to a point where any excess feels weird. I might be over-indulging, but at least I'm aware of it. And in some weird way, I actually feel LESS guilty about it now than I used to pre-diabetes - what's THAT about?

I guess part of it is that now, a lot of the voices I've carried around with me are silenced, and so is that condemnatory guilt they used to shout at me. The guilt I feel now is more related to my actual health and well-being, rather than some sense of disappointing someone else. And so the guilt I feel now is less controlling in some way - less pushy - less noisy, for sure - less bitchy.

For many years of our marriage, Hubby and I have hosted Thanksgiving at our house. This year, we traveled to see family, so there was hardly any work for me to do today. I did a lot of sitting around and relaxing. I took two different mini-naps on the couch. We had a good, solid (not-too-carby) breakfast, a very light lunch, and ate our Thanksgiving meal mid-afternoon. 

After our meal, we had the obligatory round of "Who's ready for dessert?" and when I said I would need to wait (like, literally, NEED), the suggestion was made to take a walk. HOORAY! I found my spirits lifting at the thought of the fresh air, the exercise, and the scenery of this neat walking path near their house - I've heard all about it and have never tried it out.

A creek runs next to it and it was rushing today - water pouring over and around the rocks, adding a delightful and constant sound to our movement. One of my favorite sounds, making a beautiful Fall day even more gorgeous. 

Max came with us. And I was so happy that our little 14 year-old schnauzer walked 1.65 miles and barely missed a beat (or a tree to pee on). Often, he led the way, trotting along, greeting others who were also out in the beautiful weather.

And as we walked, I felt the few guilty qualms getting further and further away, left behind at the dinner table while we got a bit of exercise. When we returned home, I enjoyed our dessert all the more because it truly felt like a treat.

Confession: I had a leftover turkey sandwich this evening and I had a bit more dessert. But it's all OK because I'm still feeling good about the choices I made today. I've reached one of my favorite food holidays for the first time as a diabetic, and I've made it through.

Gobble, gobble!

It's About the Relationship

Max Scooter

This is Max Scooter. He's our thirteen-and-a-half year old mini schnauzer. We've been together since he was seven weeks old. I brought him home as a single gal, and - happily - married someone who loves him as much as I do.

Max is showing his age. At age thirteen-and-a-half in human years, he's between 77 and 82 in doggie years, so his little body is slowing down. He still has his schnauzer spunk - he just doesn't hear as well as he used to, or see as well as he once did, so he's less likely to bark at you if you ring the doorbell.

One of the things I determined to do once I started walking regularly was to include Max at least part of the time. Now, I adore this dog. Let's just get that out there. But he always has been and still is horrible at walking. What I mean is - everything taller than him needs a sniff, needs some wee, maybe a dash of poop. 

COME ON, DOG. It's a weed, for goodness' sake. WHY PEE ON A WEED?

There are all sorts of reasons why he does this. He's a male. He hasn't been well-trained to walk and ignore. He's a schnauzer, which is an inherently curious breed. Etc. etc. Whatever the case, I learned long ago that if I'm really wanting good exercise, taking him along isn't such a good plan.

And now, of course, there's the matter of his age. He just can't walk as far as he used to because he just doesn't have the energy. My in-laws took him for a walk recently and my father-in-law (bless him) actually had to CARRY THE DOG part of the way because Max was just plain ole tuckered out.

So, I've decided that sometimes, the exercise is sacrificed for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes, my own walking regimen is less important than the regimen that Max and I share together - a regimen that involves slowing down and even stopping from time to time. And that's OK, because the important thing is that we got out there - together - and saw the sights and sniffed the wind and enjoyed a beautiful North Texas day. We covered almost a mile together: he got to pee on some stuff (I waited) and he came home to eat an ice cube and crash in his favorite spot. 

He's a great dog, today's walk was a great walk, and really - that's what matters.