What Fills the Void

My weakness...

It has been one of Those Days. It wasn't a terrible day, but it was one of Those Days because of the sheer number of details swirling around in my brain right now. We have a big weekend coming up at church, and it is all joy - really, it is. However, joy doesn't always come easily or without planning - and there are so many things to think about, carry out, remember, etc. that last week was one of Those Weeks, and I started off this work week with one of Those Days.

I came home late from the office, not expecting to have to make dinner. I ended up making dinner. The thought of it almost made me cry. "I wish I had a butler," I lamented to some friends online while waiting for water to boil. 

"I wish I didn't have diabetes so I could eat a bunch of ice cream," I added.

A-HA!

I thought about that as I worked on dinner. I thought about how I wanted to do what I have always done on Those Days - eat a big, fat bowl of ice cream, while ignoring the consequences completely. I then asked myself, "What is the void I'm trying to fill tonight?" And I realized I was tired and cranky and that I was tired and cranky because I was hungry. 

Well, then, Kathi, eat some damn dinner!

We ate dinner. A simple dinner, fairly balanced, pretty light, definitely easy. My mood improved. I felt a bit re-charged as I sat and relaxed a bit. Hubby and I bantered a bit. I cleaned up the kitchen a bit. I called a friend and chatted a while. I put away a bit of laundry (but not all of it!). And somehow, in all these bits of this and that, I realized I felt re-charged a lot more.

And that was when I went to the kitchen to get my small bowl of ice cream. I loved every bite. And most importantly, the void had already been filled.